“Heart Hands” by Skinned Mink is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.”
Who are you? What do you stand for?
These are not easy questions to answer, but you can get closer to finding the answers by discovering your personal values.
Finding your values is crucial to finding fulfillment because it gives you a sense of direction in life.
While there is no single tried-and-true way to find your values, I have four steps you can take to get closer to finding them:
- Look at a list of values online and see which ones stick out to you or resonate with you.
There are some good lists on scottjeffrey.com, soulsalt.com, and brenebrown.com, and there are a whole lot more out there.
Read through a list and write down 10-15 values that speak to you. If there are any values you think of that aren’t on the list, jot those down as well.
Once you have your list, narrow it down to just five values.
To do this, it might help to look at your 10-15 value list and see if there are related values you wrote down that can be combined into one value.
For example, justice, fairness, and honesty could be narrowed down to “ethics” or “integrity.” Or, balance, spirituality, and health could be narrowed down to “wellness.”
Narrowing down your list of values won’t be easy, but once you’ve created a list of five values that feel right to you, you’ll have a clearer idea of what’s most important to you.
Also, know that it’s totally normal to change your values as you change and grow. This list is not set in stone — it’s a work in progress you can always edit.
The goal of creating the list is not to limit you — it’s just to get an idea of what is most important to you at this stage in your life.
YouTuber “UnJaded Jade” walks through this list method in her video on how to find your core values:
- Think about the times you’ve been most content.
This can tell you a lot about what is important to you and aligned with you.
For example, if you feel happiest when you’re having fun or being creative, maybe “playfulness” is a value you possess.
Or, if you feel most alive when you’re contributing to a project you find meaningful, you might value “making a difference” or “meaningful work.”
- Think about the times you’ve been least content.
What made them so unpleasant?
Perhaps you were bullied as a child, and this was a really painful time in your life. If this is the case, the opposite of bullying (which could be love, belonging, acceptance, inclusion, or any combination of those qualities) may be an important value for you.
Or, if you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a job you hate, maybe a quality that would make up the opposite of that experience (like passion, authenticity, or love) could be one of your values.
- Think about the big choices you’ve made in life, whether that be career choices, relationship choices, or educational choices.
What motivated you to choose what you did? That could tell you something about your values.
For example, if you chose to become a nurse because you love helping people, you might value something like “giving back,” “helpfulness,” or “altruism.”
Alternatively, if you chose to become a nurse because it allows you to meet many different people, you might value “connection” or even “open-mindedness.”
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I hope this blog post gave you some helpful ideas for discovering your personal values.
Knowing our own values can help us create better lives for ourselves, and knowing others’ values can help us understand and appreciate others more deeply.
Once you have a better idea of what your values are, making decisions about your life becomes a little bit easier.
What are some of your personal values? Leave a comment down below.
Reflect and Nourish 
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